Have you ever felt like you don’t fit in?


Have you ever felt like you don’t fit in, or for some unknown reason you’re not in the space/place you’re supposed to be?

I know I have, often, and continue to do so. As a matter of fact I’m feeling a bit of that right now. While this experience often has a undesired connotation to it I find it means the exact opposite.

To explain I’m going to use an old saying we used to have when observing someone we decided was just a little too high on themselves, we called it “Being too big for their britches”. When we lathered the judgement on them it was often accompanied by “Who do they think they are!” and ” Someone/something should cut them down to size.  They are just like the rest of us. Who do they think they are to be saying and doing what they are?”.

There was a time I probably would have joined their tirade however now I would shout, “Congratulations!, you’re on the brink of a miracle. Or, you’re gazing over the precipice of defeat.  It really all depends on you and the choices you make from this moment forward.”

It is in our very basic nature to grow, expand, and evolve. To consistently outgrow our current external surroundings and internal experiences and step into the undiscovered land of growth, abundance, mystery, challenges, and miracles. The key word here is “step”.

One of the first, and best, indicators that it’s time to step is that we feel too big for our britches. As we look around us we experience the discomfort that comes from being the odd one out. The peers we used to feel so at home with we don’t anymore. As we look at our surroundings and those things that used to please us we realize they don’t anymore.

We wonder why,  what’s wrong with us? We try and try to re-feel the familiarity of the normal we used to but no matter how hard we try we can’t. Other’s will even, with the best of intentions, assure us that it’s just a phase, or it’s just a transitional experience and we will soon return to the comfortable “groove” of our life.

But what if we don’t want to? What if we don’t want to fit in or return to the groove, return to the normal we used to embrace but simply doesn’t satiate us anymore. What if we are so done with it that even if we could, we choose not to. Not that there was necessary anything “bad” about what used to be, it’s just that it’s not who we now are.

I’m not saying for one second that you immediately pull up roots, sell everything you have, and move to a grass hut on a mountain side. Actually I’m suggesting the exact opposite. The step you take does not have with anything to do with your external world.

The catalyst for change always takes place inside us first. We look around at the once so familiar, that now seems so foreign and strange, and make a choice. You will often have to make this choice many times, but each time it’s the same choice. The choice to let go of that which doesn’t serve you anymore and accept the known, and the unknown, that is the new manifestation of who you are.

So what does this new manifestation look like? To answer that, let me ask you this “What do you dream about? What are the fantastical movies you create, with you acting out the starring role? What do you dare not tell anyone because they will confirm you are now completely off your rocker.” Those are some excellent starting points. I personally lost track of how many of my internal “crazies” are now every day “normals”.

Just this morning, I received a note from one of my dear friends sharing a dream that she and her husband have chosen to step into. She also mentioned how she’s pretty certain people will think they are crazy to which I replied “That’s one of the first indicators you’re headed in the right direction.” They don’t know how they are going to do it but are starting to head off towards it.

It’s not crazy. They have just out grown their britches. It’s not crazy, it’s only natural. The crazy part is when people stay static. The crazy part is when they choose to try and fit in a set of britches now two sizes too small.

If you and I were having a conversation and you shared your own story of not fitting in, feeling maybe even alone because you don’t relate to the people, places, and events in your life  I would reach over the table, shake your hand, and say “Congratulations, you’re on the edge of a miracle.”

This is part two of a three part series. CLICK HERE for part one.

Russ Littau
Founder of The Healing Center and Convergence Reiki
Host of Ask the Experts Radio/TV


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